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October 24 2017


Too Problematic to live

Too valid to die


send me a ❌ for a government assigned kin


my goal is to be completely vaporized at disneyland so they cant take my body off the premises and pronounce me dead offsite

hey gang im ordering 14 dollars worth of soda and nothing else from my local dominos



im thorsty

He better not fucking have


honestly pablo picasso was a bitch but this vase is kickin


Do y’all think they kinned back in the old days? U just can’t tell me no one read Romeo and Juliet and didn’t have Mercutio listed on their Before Thoust Followest

i’m telling him i like him tomorrow i decided

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I was at our local bakery recently and came across a loaf of bread quaintly branded as a “Peasant Loaf”. It was selling for over $6—the irony of this was not lost on me. 

In retaliation I have decided to post what I actually think of as a peasant loaf, but with the luxury of finely ground modern flour which is less likely to break your teeth because actual peasant loaf bread is like chewing rocks unless you’re soaking it in soup or stew. 

This is a very simple loaf, it requires no special tools and is a fairly forgiving dough for beginners to work with. Also it has the added bonus of looking like an expensive artisan loaf, but costs literal pennies to make once you invest in the basic ingredients.

So what do you need?


  1. Plain flour (or wholewheat if you prefer)
  2. One sachet of active dry yeast.
  3. Salt.
  4. Water.


  1. Bowl
  2. Mug

Prep and bake time total: 2 hours 45 minutes.

Yep, that’s it. You’ll notice that there’s no quantities listed up there, and that’s because you’ll be using the mug to measure everything. This helps to make sure your quantities are consistent, and means that so long as you have a mug and your ingredients, you can make bread. Heck you don’t even need a bowl, it just makes clean up easier.

Again I had Elusive Tumblr Dad help me take the photos so be warned this is going to be fairly image heavy under the cut :D

Step One: Gather your stuff.


Keep reading

For those asking for my bread recipe.


Me: Alright, brain, we have two tasks to do. One of them is more time sensitive, but working on the other will be more fun. Which should I start on?

My brain: Do fucking nothing for 72 hours

Me: Understandable, have a nice day

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Youtube has a fundamental misunderstanding of who its primary audience is.

honestly i have to read this as youtube trying to convince its Shareholders that their audience has a lot of money and therefore its possible to turn a profit off the site, even though theyve failed to do so for ages now

everyone should select 1 million and see what happens

youtube, as i rewatch ‘oh yeah mr krabs’ for the twelfth time in a row: hmmm my good sir how many millions or billions do you make per year?

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i see your “let people have fun” and nod in agreement but also raise you one “let people express exasperation or annoyance in the quiet privacy of their own space where it’s literally not disrupting anyone else’s fun”


Patti LuPone got turned into an ant, and to figure out which ant was her (so we could turn her back) we had all the ants sing from memory, because obviously regular ants wouldn’t know any Broadway songs

you’ve heard of elf on the shelf now get ready for

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the discord server my girlfriend and I hang out in has a snapchat group and she just sent 15 individualized bitmojis of herself tucking everyone in the server into bed and i was overtaken by the sudden feeling that if I didn’t archive this happenstance immediately then something absolutely terrible would happen

…is she tucking herself in in that last one?



what does it mean when a guy says hi to you 

he’s lying

Reposted byfavouriteworstnightmaremiau-miauwerhamsterinzyniermaciekpflamingoleniwabulaludzop856

i’m extremely invalid

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