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May 21 2018

powerfrog:

jiluan:

I keep seeing people outside walking and running around I don’t understand why do that when cars trucks trains and planes are faster. trust me I know I’m a pastor. the master. spell caster. shoot my blaster. eat plaster. yah

hustlerose:

hustlerose:

hustlerose:

mike pence is hatefollowing me 

mike you bitch stop vagueing about me on twitter i fucking know you’re creeping my blog ok

yeah real fucking mature dude. i hope you choke. 

but what does ur fave book in high school say about you

honeyproducer:

the bell jar: you were depressed in high school and uncomfortable with womanhood
the metamorphosis:
you were depressed in high school and uncomfortable with occupying a physical form
the awakening
: you wrote poetry in high school and you wouldn’t let anyone see it
all quiet on the western front: you were into the homoerotic bonding and the drama of it all. you’re probably gay
the catcher in the rye: in high school you felt misunderstood and you cried a lot
pride and prejudice: you like romcoms
jane eyre: you have had an unusual love life
the great gatsby: at one point in your life you have had posters of audrey hepburn and marilyn monroe in your bedroom
to kill a mockingbird: you believe that bernie sanders will save this country
brave new world: you are a pretentious libertarian and you fear women
1984: you are a sex-positive liberal
lord of the flies: you are a frat boy
a portrait of the artist as a young man
: you love to suffer
the grapes of wrath:
your tastes are overly influenced by what your dad thinks is good
of mice and men
: you are only saying this book was your favorite because it is the only book you read in high school because it is short

0281 51fb 500

gallusrostromegalus:

Ironically, more accurate.

mesopelagic:

got no bones, osmosis jones

hurts to pee with my kidney stone

grubs in the dirt

im an introvert

kayne west $300 shirt

denythem:

Lucien: “You sleep rather soundly for a murderer………..”
Me, hearing this line at least for the 10000th time:

wilbr:

The fluoride in tap water is for flavor.

apeculiarangel:

pinkdementors:

everyone who writes their ‘7’s with a little dash through them had a conscious moment of truth where they actively chose to write ‘7’ in that way and never stopped doing it like if you can’t clearly recall that fateful decision wyd

i feel like this applies to a few things:

cakeandrevolution:

justsomeantifas:

i’m so sick of news articles that look like this 


it builds itself up like OKAY WE FOUND THESE DEVASTATING RESULTS

and then you go in to look and you find it had a sample size of 40 

and then you’re like okay, what was the fantastic difference between these 40 people when sleeping with and without a dog

and the article is like

…so you get through it and you’re like you’re trying to tell me you think this is substantial in any capacity, this 40 sample size 3% difference ass bullshit??????????? you fucking shitforbrick bad at math fake ass science losers?

burplesnurf2:

burplesnurf2:

burplesnurf2:

burplesnurf2:

the cha cha slide in full metal armor

“sliiide to the left”

*indescribably loud screeching of metal against asphalt*

“one hop this time”

*clonk*

“two hops this time”

*clonk clonk*

“everybody clap your hands!”

*clankclankclankclankclank*

imcronkin:

snoopdoggey:

if i die, please bury me in one of two poses:

1. t-pose

2. you know i had to do it to em

If I die

mechsuit:

thedeadlygrips:

have y'all EVER lived in a society?

0323 d375 500
0360 268e 500

sandsvendor100:

If You Run Or Hover Really Fast Maybe You Can Find Me Hiding In A Trash Can Or Maybe The Dumpster… Rooting Through All Of The Garbage… You Ever Wonder Why Theirs Not Any Gold Or Diamonds Or Valuable Shitt In The Trash? It Is Because Seymour Came In Really Fast And Took It All ;)

fakelaurent:

fakelaurent:

rosebnd:

fakelaurent:

Wendy’s: hello can I take your order?
Me: Maybe

this is a really rude thing to say to customer service esp those trying to help you eat. where are yalls manners?

I’m sorry

:(

slimetony:

i can only be killed with console commands

pregnantseinfeld:

If you all go 2 weeks without discourse the whole class gets an ice cream social and a pizza party

me nd my robot bf

roboticdreams:

me: wow bb ur so hard

him: I AM MADE OF METAL.

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